At the beginning of 2024, I put a very scary dream into the short-term future: publish my first book. Over 15 years ago, I turned to writing to help me document and cope with my breast cancer diagnosis. Even before that, I found writing to be my favorite way to communicate. I was always able to articulate my thoughts and feelings better in written form, than verbally.
I didn’t know how I was going to reach this goal of publishing. I didn’t know what the end result would look like. I just had “a knowing” that this year was the time for it.
Just as what always seems to happen when I let go of control, God and the universe delivered. I started taking tiny steps and I was met with the path. One stepping stone at a time would be laid out in front of me when I needed it. I just had to keep taking that next step.
Soon I was compiling the poems I had written over the years into a structure that made sense. Then I was designing my book, knowing that I wanted it to include artwork with color and images. I was searching photographs I had taken over the years that correlated with each poem.
Next I was reaching out to an editor friend, asking her to look for spelling or grammar errors. She showed up and offered so much more for me. She helped me move poems around, gave thoughts on re-writing some, and pointed out poems that ultimately didn’t make it to the published status.
My editor, with her creative mind, was also able to offer a grand idea about my artwork. She suggested that I should try to break an hourglass to take a photograph of it for one section of my book. I sat with the idea, quite hesitant with the thought. Could I get myself to break an hourglass? That seems like a waste of money. When I expressed these thoughts to my editor, she challenged me to think about it as art supplies.
Writing, designing, editing, and publishing a book is a LOT of work. I loved most every step of the process, but given the tight deadline I gave myself, it also required me to be very focused. There were many nights and weekends that I dedicated to my book, cutting into family time. So I used this idea of breaking an hourglass, to make a fun date with my nine-year-old daughter, Brielle. We were off to the craft store to find hourglasses, glitter, and various black and white backdrop papers.
Now we were setting up our supplies in the summer sun for our photoshoot. I asked my husband Brian if we could borrow a hammer. Together the three of us were standing on our driving.
The time had come for me to break the hourglass. Okay, here goes....
Another deep breath,
a long pause.
Something inside of me just couldn’t do it. There was the cost of the hourglass, but that was only $8.00. What was holding me back?
Finally, Brielle piped up, “I’ll do it, Momma!”
I gladly handed the hammer over to her and gave her instructions on where I wanted it to break.
Within seconds and a few small taps, there on the ground laid the broken hourglass. I took all sorts of pictures from different angles to be sure I would have an image that I wanted.
I knew I needed to grasp the hammer and try a tap.
It was a moment of power and peace as I let go of my thoughts and took action.
Next I turned to Brian and offered him the hammer, asking him to participate too.
It was a simple, yet memorable moment for me. Standing on our driveway, with the two loves of my life beside me. The ones I call my Rock and my Hope. The three of us looking down on the glimmers of beauty within the broken glass being captured by the setting sun.
We wrapped up the broken glass within the drop cloth we were using. I walked inside and had this urge to write about the experience while it was still fresh. I scribbled on a scrap piece of paper what had just happened. Before long, I was editing the pictures and adding them into my drafted book. I typed up the words I had just written and added a photo from the day. A few days later I came back to the poem. I was in my final editing stages and yet, I felt the need to add this poem to my book as well.
Now, every time I look at page 85 I remember fondly the simple, yet powerful moment that came to be the last written poem for “Life is Hard Life is Beautiful”. It only seems fitting that this poem was created with the help of my Rock and my Hope; the two that have stood by my side through the hard and beautiful times.
To order a signed and personalized copy of my book of poems, for yourself and/or a friend, click here. It’s an honor to handwrite a note to those that order directly from me.
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