15 Years ago today, I received the phone call telling me I had cancer. In many ways, I was still a baby. We were ready to start a family, but instead, I started chemo.
Holding my baby, heavy on my chest
Along with more mixed emotions
Than I knew how to express
Looking back now
I still feel her
And everything else that I held
My wish is that my book
Will hold that space for others
As they experience life --
The hard and beautiful moments.
At the same moment that I snapped this picture with my baby, I used my phone to write the poem “Stage 4 Ocean”. This poem can be found....
I look back at the past few weeks with a full heart at how great it feels to have my book in the world.
I waited patiently for the first copies to show up on my doorstep. I had envisioned this moment for years, what it would feel like to hold my words in my hands. The books were finally delivered......
Here I sit, at my writing desk, while staring out the second-story window into our backyard.
I am home; in my writing room.
Next to me is the new bookshelf I found. Arranged on the shelves.....
Sometimes life is really hard.
I'm not referring to the hard where you oversleep and are late for work.
But instead, the hard where it feels impossible to move.
I never thought we'd be taking Brielle to Hawaii.
But
I also never thought I'd be living with metastatic breast cancer.
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11/10/09 made me a stronger person.
13 years ago today was when I picked up that phone call.
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Below is an excerpt from a journal I kept and shared with my family/friends after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This particular post was written after I found out my cancer had metastasized.
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Today is a big day for me. SEVEN years ago I got the call.
The 2nd call -- more than 5 years after the 1st time I had heard the words "you have cancer".
Here’s a glimpse into the past few days for me:
Standing in our kitchen, I hold on tighter and seconds longer than a “normal” hug. I first hug Brielle, then Brian. Brian squeezes tighter too. “I’ll be thinking of you, babe. I hope your scans go well.” The tone of his voice tells me we’re both thinking the same thing.
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