Janell's Breakaway Hits

With this entry, I thought it would be fun to reminisce a bit and re-introduce a creative project that I completed shortly after I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009.

At that time, I was 27 years old and had been married to Brian for five years. It probably goes without saying that my diagnosis was a shock to us. I quickly turned to journaling, writing, and finding other creative ways to process what I was going through.

When I was in high school, hockey was my favorite sport to play. Ten years after high school, I found myself using hockey analogies in my medical updates to my family and friends. As I was going through difficult chemotherapy, I would talk about how I just had to get through this next “shift on the ice”.

It also didn’t take long for me to realize the importance of music on my mental well-being as I was going through my difficult days. I recognized that the right song could meet where I was at. It could help me feel and understand emotions that I didn’t know how else to acknowledge or process.

That’s when I had the idea to create a “mixed CD” of my go-to songs. Of course, nowadays we’d create our own Spotify or YouTube playlist. A few months ago, I was chatting with someone who reminded me of this mixed CD I made. I hadn’t thought about the CD for so long. I went to my box of memorabilia from that time in my life and pulled out a copy.

“Janell’s Breakaway Hits: A soundtrack of soothing and strengthening songs compiled by Janell Meier”

I have to say, I’m pretty proud of what I created. I designed the front and back artwork. And I wrote a special explanation for each of the 18 songs that I chose to include on my CD. It was a therapeutic project and a way to clear my mind from the reality I was facing at that time.

Now, 15 years later, I thought it would be fun to share my songs and why I chose each one. I also created a Spotify Playlist if you’d like to listen to each song, you can do so by clicking here:

Janell's Breakaway Hits Playlist

**It is worth noting that Garth Brooks does not have his songs on Spotify, so the songs on the Spotify Playlist are from Garth Brooks Tribute Artists.

In the last few months, I’ve found myself with a heavy heart regarding current events and some personal challenges that are outside of my control. I realized I was “doom scrolling” more than I needed to be. Lately, I’ve tried to make a more conscious effort to turn to music rather than news updates or my go-to personal development podcasts. It’s refreshing to take that break from consuming and instead just listen and feel.

In writing this entry, I found that music was studied and proven to have a positive impact on mental health, dating back to the end of World War II. Here is one study that outlines some of the benefits of music: The Transformative Power of Music in Mental Well-Being

Do you have your own go-to Playlist? If not, have you ever thought about which songs you might include for your various moods?

I’d love to hear from you! Comment below or email me directly with your own favorite songs and/or which song is your favorite from my list?

I invite you to take some time to journal about which songs hold a special place in your heart and why. I love that I have this time capsule of sorts, from 15 years ago. It’s also inspiring me to write into what would be on my current playlist.

If you’d like to read why I chose each song, below is what I wrote 15 years ago:

Music is such an important part of my life. I’ve had some of my most memorable days at concerts listening to my favorite artists. When I’m down and need something more to get me through the day, I turn to music.

Music can bring me back to the wonderful vacations I’ve taken. Sitting in the sun on a beach, listening to the waves hit the shore. Music can bring me back to my wedding day. All the happiness and overwhelming love I felt that day for Brian. All the important people with us there that day, celebrating with us, witnessing the love we have for each other.

From the first day I learned I had cancer, music has helped me cope. I hope this compilation helps you through your toughest days as well as your happiest days. {Crazy to read that last line now, 15 years later, after publishing my book: Life is Hard Life is Beautiful}

1. Who Are They ⬤ Tim McGraw

“They” tell me I will feel a certain way through this whole experience. “They” say I will feel weak. I say I am Strong! I feel courageous. Sure, I might be more tired than normal, but that does not make me weak. I’ve always joked with my parents, “who are they?”

2. Memphis Soul Song ⬤ Uncle Kracker

My Aunt Barb introduced me to Uncle Kracker’s music. I’ve loved him ever since. This particular song, Barb thought Brian should sing at our wedding.

3. Into The Mystic ⬤ Van Morrison

This song brings me back to one of the happiest days of my life. This was our first dance at our wedding. I have to thank Brian for taking dance lessons with me prior to our wedding. Without the lessons, I would not have had the confidence to dance!

4. Free Fallin’ ⬤ Tom Petty

This song also brings me back to our wedding day. When the live band playing at our wedding went on break, Brian and his friends got up on stage and performed this song. I felt like such a groupie! I had people coming up to me saying they had no idea Brian was an artist. Brian is so talented!

5. He Will Carry Me ⬤ Mark Schultz

My co-worker Joan gave me a CD just after I found out about the cancer. She said this song reminded her of me. I gain strength from this song. It also reminds me of the “Footprints in the Sand” poem; and we all know how much I love the beach.

6. I’m Alive ⬤ Kenny Chesney Featuring Dave Matthews

I heard this song for the first time this summer on the radio. The first time I heard it, I knew it was going to be one of my favorites. At that time, I found it on YouTube and sent the link to my mom to hear. I told her, this is what life is all about! When I found out I had cancer, this song became my theme song. The day I got the call with the diagnosis I stayed at the office with my co-workers until Brian could get home from work. When we all left the office that night, I got in my car and this was the first song that came on the radio. I felt a sense of calmness; everyone is going to be okay! Kenny Chesney sings:
“Today’s the first day of the rest of my life.” This will be something I will get through, and when I’ve conquered cancer, it’ll be something no one will ever be able to take away from me.

7. Never Alone (Featuring Lady A) ⬤ Jim Brickman

The first time I heard this song it was in a slideshow with pictures of the Fargo Flood 2009. During the flood, our community was able to witness the power of teamwork. Also, since I found out about the cancer, many people have written comments to me saying that I’m never alone. It always reminds me of this song.

8. Unanswered Prayers ⬤ Garth Brooks

This song has always been a favorite of mine. It reminds me that we can pray to God for what we want, but that doesn’t mean God is going to grant our prayers. I know when some people found out I had cancer, they prayed for a miracle that I did not actually have cancer. To me, that wasn’t realistic. I instead prayed to God that he would give me the strength and courage to accept the challenge He’s put in front of me. If you pray to God and he doesn’t answer your prayers the way you think He should, it’s not that He didn’t hear your prayer; it’s that He has a different plan for you.

9. Dance, Dance, Dance ⬤ Steve Miller Band

Before I met Brian I hated dancing! I’m sure many of you remember trying to pull me out on the dance floor during family weddings. Now, I love dancing! I feel so safe and happy when I’m in Brian’s arms, whether it is on the dance floor, or after a tough day. Steve Miller Band also reminds me of my parents too, I remember all of us enjoying their songs together.

10. Baptism ⬤ Kenny Chesney

I find this song so soothing and consoling. It brings me closer to God.

In this song, Kenny sings:

“And it was down with the old man, up with the new
Raised to walk in the way of light and truth”

11. Where The Boat Leaves From ⬤ Zac Brown Band

I love summer days; especially on the lake. This song reminds me of a day on the boat with: my dad or friends. It also reminds me of the wonderful Caribbean cruise we went on in 2008. Such great memories that I will always have.

12. Old Blue Chair ⬤ Kenny Chesney

I live for winter vacations. I’ve said this before, but when you live in North Dakota, it should be required to take a winter vacation to keep your sanity and get through the wind and cold. This song brings me to the ocean beach. Also any Kenny Chesney song reminds me of my “sista” Jen and all the fun times we’ve had together, including the Chesney concert we attended this last summer.

13. The River ⬤ Garth Brooks

This song has such strong lyrics. Garth sings:

“There’s bound to be rough waters
And I know I’ll take some falls.
But with the Good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all.”

14. What Faith Can Do ⬤ Kutless

My friend Heather gave me a gift of the Kutless CD after I received my diagnosis. She said every time she hears this song, she thinks of me. I play volleyball with Heather, and when I first told my volleyball girls about my diagnosis I remember Heather saying she admired me so much for my Faith. I’m so glad that God can live through me during this time, and that others see that. I hope others can build Faith through me. When I told my mom I was working on my CD, she said she could maybe make her own CD with gospel songs. I told her I had a few gospel songs on my CD. I told her about this song, and my mom said this was the same song she had heard! My mom read me her journal entry from 12/10/09 when she heard this song on the radio. 12/10/09 was the same day Heather gave me this song; and it was exactly one month from when I received my diagnosis. These are not coincidences. It’s yet another example of how if you are in tune with your Faith, you will start noticing the miracles in your life every day.

15. Imagine ⬤ John Lennon

I had to have a few songs that were not country; we all know how much Brian loves country music. This is a classic song about living without greed; living for each other. We’ve seen so many people willing to give for us during this time.

16. We Shall Be Free ⬤ Garth Brooks

This is another song about the world living together for all mankind. I see it with all the support we’ve received; people are willing to help. Even people that have never met me before have given me items (hats, an afghan, or even just simple words of encouragement) to help me through my journey.

17. I will Be Here ⬤ Steven Curtis Chapman

This brings me back to my wedding day. This song was sung during our wedding ceremony. Now with this challenge in our life, the song brings a new meaning to me. It’s unbelievable how much support Brian has given me. I tear up just thinking about how much he’s sacrificed for me just in the last month. Whenever I need anything, Brian has been here for me. Looking back to my wedding day 5 years ago, I never would have imagined we would be going through something like this so early in our lives; but I knew Brian would always be here for me. It’s so overwhelming the support I get from him. All the times I say “Thank You” are not enough to show my appreciation. I know this song is about God; and I see God through Brian every hour of every day.

18. I Run for Life ⬤ Melissa Etheridge

Someday very soon I will be running for me! I’m not a big runner, I don’t think I’ll ever commit to a marathon, but I will be running for life! Someday I will be running a 5K to prove to everyone that cancer cannot beat us. As my Aunt Barb said, “I think this time Cancer picked the wrong couple.”

Again, I'd like to encourage you to take some time to reflect:

Do you have your own go-to Playlist? If not, have you ever thought about which songs you might include for your various moods?

I’d love to hear from you! Comment below or email me directly with your own favorite songs and/or which song is your favorite from my list?