I came across this memory today, from April 2020. The days when most all of us were quarantined to home. When so much was unknown in each of our lives.
Here were my thoughts:
The only routine outing that's stayed constant for me during this time. Every 3 weeks, is my chemo infusions. I'm so thankful!
Cycle #81
Quarantined Cycle #2
One day at a time
Faith, Hope, Courage
Blessed to be counting up!
Monday Mornings
AND - I received the best letter of the year in the mail on Friday. After fighting with insurance for 2 months, an independent company made the ruling that a PET scan is medically necessary in my situation. As great as this news is, it's just as frustrating that my friends and all patients have to fight so much for their care. This is a huge win for me and I fought hard for it. I can only hope my insurance company uses my example for others in similar situations.
All of this reminds me of the 550 piece puzzle we finished last night. I started it on Saturday evening. I don't know why I started it. I don't know the last time, if ever, I did a 550 piece puzzle.
There's so many other things I could have done instead, but I fell into the peer pressure of my aunts and cousins in an ongoing group chat. Maybe I wanted to feel a sense of community? That even though we are apart, we're still connected through our own puzzles.
I think I regretted the decision as soon as I opened the box that read "Special Effects". The metallic pieces haunted me as they seemed to change colors with each slight movement. But there was no turning back.
I started by collecting the edge pieces and creating the border. It was the foundation. A way to build a sense of structure out of the jumbled segments.
Similar to the day I got the call that I had cancer. Similar to all of our lives now with this pandemic. The puzzle box is now open. There is no turning back. All we can do now is gather the scattered pieces and work slowly inward.
The puzzle tried my patience. It frustrated me and consumed me. But I continued building, putting one piece in at a time.
After building my border, I focused on similar colors next. Trying to find pieces that resemble each other. In my cancer journey, those puzzle pieces represent my support group sisters. We connect in a way others can't understand.
With this pandemic, it's important to find your own "similar pieces".
After many hours in front of the table, last night Brielle saw that I was close to finishing. She came bopping up and started helping assemble the last of the pieces. Just as she always does, she brings so much joy to my life. And as she placed the last black pieces where they belong, I couldn't help but document the moment with a video. I'm so thankful I did.
The joy in those few seconds are much like joys we all have after struggles. Do you stop and appreciate that joy? Or do you quickly move on to your next puzzle? Do you let others in to help you with your puzzles, or do you fight through them alone?
I challenge you to take a minute today to reflect on the puzzles in your life. Have faith that even though it might not feel like it now, that picture will come together. You have a choice today of how you want to react to your puzzles. You can throw all the pieces up, close the box, and pretend like it's not there. Or you can start today, with just one piece. And soon you'll be celebrating with the joy of the end picture.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I love you!
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